its been soooooo long.. xD I actually envy my biological brother for being so much active than i am..
Yesterday we went to an anime convention and gawd it was so amazing. TT__TT Sure, its not my first time to cosplay and go to stuffs like that but.. In my early years, I used to go there alone.. So, the place which I considered a "heaven" was just something that I see.. No more or less than that. But yesterday, it was all different. I felt like I became one with that "heaven". It felt like, for the first time, i belong to some place. It was fantastic. That only became possible because I cosplayed. xD Like i said, it wasnt my first time (I used to cosplay only in our school grounds.. not in conventions) but yeh.. The experience of cosplaying in an event is something quite new. PLUS, I was with friends. There were meet ups with people I didnt know, people I used to know or old friends and people whom I didnt expect to see there.
Its great <3
I also saw a lot of deviants there.. I wanna be close to them somehow C:

(Ok if youre wondering who did I cosplay, its was L of DeathNote. xD I didnt actually have the intention of cosplaying in that event but my friend came up with something and made me do the cosplay on the spot! I look like a failed chibi L xDD more like a zombie really.. hahahaha.)

But because of that day, I realized I wanted to do more cosplaying.. Yes.. It somehow took away my inferiority problems. Thats one thing that also made me happy. If I continue to do so with my friends, I think I'll get rid of this little emptiness inside me~


Speaking of lil emptiness.. Have you all noticed that I havent drawn anything? Yeah, I've been in a long season of emptiness and artist block. I'm actually looking for more inspiration (thus, the "need" of going outside the house.. I always lock myself inside the house you see. But I wasnt getting productive at all.) But in those times that I havent drawn anything; I was actually doing something big. Nope not drawing, I'm building a real story. A real manga. I'm not converting it to drawings yet 'cause I havent developed much the story.. But I can tell that I'm almost there.
The reason why I say its "real" 'cause.. Sure, I TRIED to make manga before.. I had plots and whatnot, I had character drafts but I couldnt really develop it. I still dont have that much skill and knowledge in story writing. But now... hohohoho.. NOW I FINALLY DID IT.

I really didnt know how I came up with it.. I had a 4 year span of continuous thinking about a story.. Then just one day. ONE DAY (while I was taking a bath xD) A furious and swift thunder hit my head XDD. I wrote down the key words, the key infos of the story, the plot holes that, for now, are in the process of developing so that all the things that are gonna happen fit together, the questions that would need a little more thinking and research and other more.

The inspiration for the story?

What I've been going through. The friendship we had (the Wapanese) and stuffs happening in my world that I havent shared in dA for a long long time. It was all hidden inside me (sorry guys), I actually feel bad that I never again shared my experiences and thoughts in here. I closed up and became a hermit. Dont worry.. I'll bring myself back. Its not a promise though.. But I wish I can draw again.

And, oh yeah. For some reason, I missed my account.. xD Mind if I return there for a while? Yeah.. maybe I should just stay there. Move all my drawings there? Maybe. This account held.. too much negative emotions for me.. Really.. Hahaha (well, not literally -,-). Since the idea of "wow, I already have a story!! * 0*" really makes me happy. I WANNA be happy again. My happy times were in that account. Sorry, its sort of conditional learning.. (its a psychology thing -w-) and yeh.. This account, when I created this, was associated with something awful in real life. Some events that happened in my life that I didnt life.  So.. yeah.. I hope you understand.. haha. I guess this is adolescence.
Ok

I got hungry.. maybe I should eat. Ja ne.. i'll be back later. XD